Tips on Surviving Trump and the Republicans

Stop complaining. Surviving Trump and the Republicans isn’t hard. If you read this post you will get some valuable tips to get you through the next eight years. You were hoping it would only be four? Then you really need to take these survival tips to heart.

Hot Tips on Surviving Republican Rule

Tip 1: Grow the hell up.

Your mother thought you were special. You are not. Washington under Obama also told you that you are special. You are not.

Now it’s time to grow up. If you have a difference it makes you different, but unless you have some sort of certifiable disability you don’t deserve any special treatment and aren’t going to get any. That’s not how Republicans get votes.

Tip 2: Who should take care of you? You should.

After you’ve grown up and decided to accept a little responsibility it’s time to move on to Tip 2. The best person to take care of you is you.

The government doesn’t care about you. Both parties like your votes, but otherwise if you rot by the side of the road it won’t matter a damn to anyone in Washington. Why should it? We pay them to govern, not babysit.

Think of all the Americans who thought the Democratic Party would lend them a helping hand. Where are they now? Still poor or on their way to being deported.

Whether you are waiting for a helping hand with education, medical care, early release from prison, retirement, or getting a job that pays more, you better start looking somewhere other than the government. Trump and the Republicans aren’t going to do you any more favors than Obama did. If you thought he helped you out, you are probably beyond help anyway.

Tip 3: No one cares about your sex life or your religion.

First, see Surviving Trump Tip 1.

As long as you have consensual sex with an adult, it’s legal. Nobody cares what you do. It’s fine to be gay, transgender, or whatever else you are, just like it’s fine to be a Christian, a Muslim, or any other religion you choose. Just act like an everyday, boring American: keep your preferences, kinks, and beliefs to yourself. Don’t ask for special favors. Everything will be just fine because no one cares about you any more than anyone else.

Tip 4: No one cares about your better life in America, either.

You know who you are. It’s too late. Trump and the Republicans are in town. Probably better to leave before things get worse.

Tip 5: Beating up on conservatives is not a survival tactic.

Why is this still happening? We just witnessed more violence at a Trump rally in Berkeley, California. A bad choice for location to be sure, but that’s not the point.

If you are a lefty, here’s a hot tip: don’t go to conservative rallies. If you lean to the right, don’t make it a point to disrupt Democratic get-togethers.

Sooner or later this kind of behavior will be charged as a hate crime. Why not? If the people who were attacked were Muslim, African American, or LGBTQ it would be and for many politics is as close to a religion as it gets.

Tip 6: Forget Medicaid.

First, reread Surviving Trump Tip 2.

Medicaid is welfare, folks. Preserving the expansion under the Republican health care plan should not be something to wish for. Your hope should be getting a better job or changing your circumstances so you don’t need it. If you succeed, you will one day understand why the rest of us aren’t happy with how much we have to pay for the medical needs of others.

Tip 7: Police are not your friends.

That’s not their job. Their job is to arrest criminals.

If you happen to be a non-white criminal, that doesn’t mean you didn’t break the law any more than community policing means there are no bad guys in your community. How do you avoid scrapes with the police? Don’t break the law.

Tip 8: Things of value have a cost.

The Fight for $15 is lost. Stop waiting for another handout and prove you aren’t a waste of space. Find a way to pay for college. It’s never going to be free. Even if that happens, employers aren’t stupid. Those free degrees will never be able to compete with the real thing.

When you have your degree and your student loan debt you can find a way to be valuable to society and the economy. Value is something you provide, not something you deserve to have handed to you.

Last tip: Trump and the Republicans are your best friends.

See Tip 1 again. Ready to grow up? If you do, Trump and the Republicans will be the best friends an irresponsible ex-Democrat can have. If you don’t, it’s going to be a long, unpleasant eight years. Better to get with the program.