I suspect a lot of people have made the decision not to vote this year. They don’t want to have anything to do with this election or our candidates, though I’m not sure why. There is a clear choice. One talks too much and the other doesn’t say enough. When it comes to policy one candidate wants to give away the farm and the other says he wants to take it back and make it better. One wants to welcome foreigners with open arms. The other wants to kick them out.
That seems like a pretty clear cut decision, doesn’t it?
There are always people who decide not to vote. Some probably never have. They will tell you it doesn’t matter who is elected, or that the election is rigged, or that their one puny vote won’t make a difference, or that they don’t like who is running.
How pathetic. If you have decided not to vote, at least come up with something original.
For Americans who choose to sit this one out, here are some good reasons not to vote in November. They aren’t forgivable. You should still renounce your citizenship and ask Kim Jong-un if he will take you in, but at least they make sense.
Great reasons not to vote in November
1. You are a Democrat
Please stay away from the polls if you aren’t a Republican. You must have some friends, neighbors, or coworkers who are supporting Trump and will thank you for giving them a break. Listening to Hillary stumble over half-truths, lies, and made-up stories for four years is more than we can stomach.
2. You are a Republican
Don’t be a sellout and vote for the only chance to keep Clinton out of office. Don’t change your position like Ted Cruz and support Trump at the last moment. You’ll be in good company with the likes of Mitt Romney, Robert Gates, and George H.W. Bush.
Stay home. Help put Hillary in office.
When it’s over and the nation is celebrating the reinauguration of the Clintons, you can let all your conservative friends know that you held fast.
3. You are an illegal immigrant
Yeah, we know. You are an American in all ways but one. We get it. If the vote was worth protecting we’d protect it. Since no one seems to give a damn you can vote if you want, but please stay away if for no other reason than it makes those citizens who choose not to cast a ballot look bad.
4. You don’t want to hand a mandate to a moron
It’s a little late for that. If Americans were going to throw the “we aren’t supporting anyone until you come up with somebody decent” card, that opportunity vanished many months ago. Still, you can always join in and tell anyone who cares that you won’t vote for Trump because he’s stupid and doesn’t understand the issues. You should know. You are more successful and can prove it, can’t you?
5. You don’t want to listen to impeachment hearings for four years
This is only a valid reason not to vote if you fall under #1. Do you really want to listen to years of hearings, testimony, and an endless stream of Clinton lackeys taking the 5th? We went through this with Obamacare. Enough is enough.
6. You don’t have any ID
Gotcha. This is America. We don’t care about that.
The one good reason you should vote
Look, we are going to be stuck with one of these charlatans no matter how many reasons we can come up with not to vote. At least if you show up at the polls – and have a right to vote – you can say you didn’t vote for the other guy (no sexism intended, Mrs. Clinton).