Have you put your white sheet away yet? If you are a Republican that’s not an easy question to answer. You have been condemned to be a racist and will be part of Hillary’s “radical fringe” no matter what you say, do, or believe. Democrats aren’t wasting time with the truth. They have gotten right to the point and are focusing on one thing: if you don’t agree with what they want and especially if you support Donald Trump, you are a racist. No dispute. End of story.
It’s an easy argument to make. Whether you lean left or right most of us like to hear things that support what we believe. The left has inundated the country with charges of racism and hate directed at anyone who doesn’t agree with the Democratic Party’s plans for the future. It doesn’t matter that minorities who are being threatened with persecution at the hands of the GOP have gone nowhere after eight years of Obama and an early first term Democratic majority that brought them nowhere. Without a doubt that’s because of Republican racism, too.
How to be the racist Democrats expect you to be
You don’t need to join the Klan to meet Democratic Party expectations. You can be a good Republican racist by simply not doing things. Yes, it’s that easy. Here are eight tips:
1. Don’t agree with what Democrats want
They hate that. If you don’t agree, you are a racist.
2. Keep your mouth shut
Nothing you say matters. Nothing will change liberal minds. The fact is that if you are not one of them, you are a racist.
Vote Republican, that is. A vote for the GOP and Trump, in particular, is prima facie evidence of your guilt. Lucky for us it’s not the primaries. We don’t have to declare our racist proclivities out loud.
4. Be conservative
Just keep doing what you’re doing and thinking what you’re thinking. Only a devout racist could believe what you believe.
5. Don’t support spending more than the country can afford or giving away too much of your paycheck
Racists are inherently selfish. The cure is to spend lavishly and take lots of credit for how you helped minorities by punishing the rich. That’s proof you are not a racist.
6. Don’t disrupt Democratic campaign events
If you lean to the right and protest at a Clinton event, you are a racist. Don’t do it. On the other hand, if you are a Democrat and disrupt a Trump appearance your behavior makes you a responsible liberal American. Good for you!
7. Don’t judge the police because of a suspect’s race
Don’t let the cops get away with the same kind of racism you are guilty of. If a suspect is a person of color, the police have undoubtedly crossed the line. Only white people commit crimes.
8. Give people from other countries everything they ask for
Don’t expect them to follow the same rules our citizens do, like paying non-resident college tuition.
Racists forget they used to be immigrants, too.
On the right track: racism is easy
These tips should be enough to get you on track to be a better Republican racist. If you need more guidance, the picture should help with your attire. Don’t feel bad about it. You have already been judged and found guilty. If you want to atone for your racism, there is still time to vote for Clinton. It won’t make things better, but it will keep Democrats from spreading lies about you.
Picture credit: “Ku Klux Klan Parade, 9/13/26.” Library of Congress. Originally published September 13, 1926. Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division Washington, D.C. 20540 USA. National Photo Company Collection. http://www.loc.gov/pictures/item/npc2007016224/, retrieved August 28, 2016.